Lucy.

Remember how I said recently that Lucy is funny? I have to tell you about a paper she wrote for school. They had an assignment at Thanksgiving time to take a paper turkey and dress him "in disguise" so that nobody would want to eat him for Thanksgiving. Lucy's was a Santa turkey; very cute. (Although the funniest idea I heard was another kid in her class who had their turkey disguised as Moses, holding a stone tablet that said, "Thou shalt not kill." Hilarious!)

They had to write a narrative about why their turkey should not be eaten; here's Lucy's:

The Reason not to eat Turkey

Farmer Frank, please don't eat us turkeys for Thanksgiving. Here are some good reasons not to eat turkey.

First of all, I have feathers. It would be yucky. Think about how burnt and black the feathers would be instead of beautiful feathers.

Second, I have the red waddle. If you cook me you will have a gushy turkey because if you cook me with it, the red thing will splatter all over me. So please don't eat me!

And of course, I am Santa Turkey to work for Santa! If you eat me, then we'll only get presents to half of the world! He really needs my help!

Besides, you can eat chicken! It's $7.99! Just get $8! That's it! They'll make change!

Those are a few reasons not to eat turkey for Thanksgiving. So, please don't eat me!




The part about the exploding red thing is gross but the part about the chicken cracks me up!