Sympathy for Oprah

“I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again?'”


Said Oprah after admitting a few months ago that her weight was back up in the 200-pound range. Being the judgmental person that I am, I thought something along the lines of, "Oh come on; with unlimited resources for personal trainers, and personal chefs to cook tasty yet healthy food, you really don't have any excuse, Oprah."

Until one day I stepped on the scale and realized that the same thing had happened to me. (No I don't weigh 200 pounds; I'm just talking about weight gain in general.)

As the saying goes, "The scale doesn't lie," but for some reason I thought there was an exception in my case. I was in denial because I still have pants that fit; the same pants that fit me 15 pounds ago, so how could I possibly be that chubby? And I don't know if my house's mirrors are all magical or what, but even now (that I'm not in denial anymore) I still don't think I look that bad in them.

You know what it was that got me thinking? Seeing a picture of myself. From a very unflattering back/side angle. Sitting playing cards at Thanksgiving with my sisters-in-law. The back bulges and the overall torso width were things I had been completely unaware of. Realizing that it was unrealistic to start on a diet between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I didn't, and instead helped myself to much toffee throughout December (which as you may recall I made like 12 batches of), and carried that through to New Year's Eve (clam dip), Zoe and Lucy's birthday weekend (cake), etc and so on.

Then one day I weighed myself again, having gained more toffee pounds, hitting a new all-time non-pregnant high, and I thought I'd see just when I weighed this much last. Being a number-obsessed person, I have a weight-tracking chart of all of my pregnancies, side-by-side, week-by-week, on one concise sheet of paper, easy to refer to in times such as these. So here it is, ladies and gents.........

The last time I weighed this much was when I was 21 weeks pregnant.

WITH TWINS.

{yikes!}

That kind of put it into perspective for me and my denial went right out the window and yes indeedy I am back on the WW bandwagon! I am proud to say I lost 4 pounds in my first week and don't expect more than 2 pounds' loss for any subsequent weeks but I do plan to stick with it.

I don't know if Oprah has any special excuses for her weight gain, but here's what I have to blame for mine (aside from the obvious "I love chocolate," "I don't like to exercise," and "Amazingly I don't have the same metabolism I did when I was 20"):

~ Low-rise pants. Miraculously I can still fit into them while my tummy has expanded, allowing me to wear my same trusty four pairs of my favorite size of pants for the past several months. If I were wearing higher-waisted pants, I would've had to start buying bigger sizes a long time ago. (And just in case you're skimming this post, I'm not pregnant. Just chubby.)

~ An awesome husband. He never ever never ever NEVER says anything negative about my appearance. The compliments flow regardless. They do increase a bit when I am in particularly good shape, particularly tan, or looking extra-special for a date, but he still compliments me all the time on my "off-days" too.

~ Magic mirrors, as I mentioned earlier. Is it an over-inflated self-image that makes me think I look all right in the mirror? Why did my anorexic friend in high school think she looked fat at 87 pounds, but I think I look okay at my all-time-non-preg chubbiest? Is it the straight-on angle that is deceiving? I think that must be it.

~ Lack of a clear goal. In years past, I had a real "reason" for losing a few pounds. In 2005 it was "I'm done having kids and my twins just turned one so it's really time to lose the rest of this weight now." So I went on Weight Watchers and I lost 15 pounds and was nearly as thin as when I got married. In early 2007 it was "I'm going to Hawaii in April and plan on wearing lots of 2-piecers" so I did a lot of exercising and lost about 10 pounds. In late 2007 I was asked if I was pregnant so I promptly lost 12 pounds. In 2009 we have no exotic beach trips planned, I have plenty of clothes that fit me okay, people know I'm not pregnant, and it did occur to me recently that I'm 33 now and am not expected to look like a 20-yr-old anymore, so who cares if I'm a little chubby?

But anyway I'm feeling motivated now, mainly because I know now that "the scale doesn't lie" and because I find this current chubby version of myself unacceptable and I know I can be thinner, in better shape, and generally more healthy than this. And for heaven's sake, I don't want to have to look at my pregnancy weight chart to see how many weeks pregnant with twins I was in comparison to my weight today.

Sorry for the long ramblies but there's the scoop; I may give an update from time to time. Wish me luck!